Unwanted Chapters…

Anxiety has been a part of my story – it has led me down paths where I would rather have not travelled. It has made me feel weak, unworthy, ashamed, enslaved, confused and in pain. It has made me hide. It has made me mean even to the ones that I love. It has made me stop short too many times.

Before Covid it was a constant battle to keep trying not to avoid things. It was a struggle to be at that family party, or a struggle to go out to the shops, or a struggle to meet up with someone. It was always so much easier to hide.

These chapters in my life that were being written felt so pointless – how on earth could they serve any purpose? So many wasted moments, so much pain, so much bondage. What good could there be in any of it?

It is so hard to see when you are living out those chapters. So hard to see beyond where you are. So hard to see there being anything better. Until you began to see His grace-filled handwriting in the story of your life where you only saw yours.

So many wasted moments equals nothing is wasted in the Kingdom of God.

So much pain equals so much healing.

So much bondage equals so much freedom.

What was once unwanted chapters in your life, you begin to see :

“All my life you have been faithful.

All my life you have been so, so good…”

Goodness of God – Jenn Johnson.

It is hard right now to lift our heads and sing and worship the King but He is here and He longs to hear your voice. Anxiety may have been a part of my story, it may have made an appearance in far too many chapters but with each thrust it made against my mind, His love was there and it never left me even when I could not see it.

Unwanted chapters equals grace-filled pages…